Wednesday, May 30, 2012

I am glad that i managed to know a few of very good friends throughout the years. We dont spend all our hours together anymore (even though we used to at some point of life), but you know they are always there.

Despite spending years together, there are still something the one beside you wont ever understand, like how much you need to whine and complain just to get over it. But good friends usually whine with you, adding sugars and oils to all your sentences, making the whole issues easier to digest and get over it.

I am going to give in & 'entertaintain' them, as much as i hate it, i think i just have to do it. But i seriously hope they don't expect too much from me. thank you very much. I would very much appreciate if they introduce me like 'this is hweesian, she's mute and deaf so pls refrain from talking to her cos she cant make any conversation' that will be great. I can just sit there like a doll showing them my very-obvious-its-fake smile but i promise i will make it less obvious.

i cant wait for my ML to come cos i am so sick of my work, but i am sure that i am not going to love it very long since i will be rotting at home doing nothing. But anyway i think i should make a countdown LOL.

oh ya, just a reminder to myself. BABY IS TOO SMALL!
Got warning from doctor already, but i am EATING!
Okay, pls absorb more of my fats also so that i wont be that fat & you can be fat enough.
we finally decide on the name!
AYDEN TAN :D

not too far away from my ideal Jayden, but that name is seriously overused and too common.
So i said RAYDEN when pig say he want name started with R just like him & he proposed ROSEN & ROSAN. But i strike it off like almost immediately.Anyway, he claimed that RAYDEN sound like some pokemon. so yeah~

i like AYDEN, so most likely we will just use that.
HOPEFULLY, no one will come poke their nose in this, nevertheless, i will still insist HAHAHA

ok, i blog cos im too bored at work, but i run out of thing to say anymore.

till den ):

Sunday, May 27, 2012

I think i had just went through the most awkward evening, at least it's one of it.
I never ever tell any friends about this meeting, cos even me myself refused to face it. Nonetheless, it still happened.

I am stubborn. I admit it. Because i have my stand.
I hate hate it when people judge me just because they change their stand.
So what if they told you their stand and why they did it in the first place?
So what if they have their reasons for making that ridiculous remarks and irresponsible decisions at the first place.
They can easily say 'lets put the past behind' cause it's what they want.

But to me, what i went through doesn't just disappear just because they choose to step back now.
The days and months i spent, doubting on myself, feeling lost, getting stabbed by nasty remarks by them & everything is not going to be forgotten.
So what make them think that by coming down for that 3 hours, i should completely change my stand.

Even my family thinks i should just accept it, and accept the fact that they are willing to give in.
But NO! that's not the point.
It's not about they give in anot, it's about me.
I freaking cant.

I can't help feeling damn wei qu from all the comments i heard.
i mean, its not my fault.

fuck my life.
That's my conclusion.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

In the end, he didnt go for his trip afterall. The job was cancelled.
While everyone think that i will be damn happy to hear that haha, actually im feeling neutral. hahas.
Cos i already have the mentally prepared that he's gg oversea.

I even wanted him to help me buy my perfume at DFS haha.

But anyway, this might be a good trial for the future when he needs to go oversea again. I think i will still make a big fuss about it hahas.

Planning to take leave on the 11th~ nothing special haha
I am just feeling sick of working, always feel fatigue and tired & i am about 1 month & 1 week more before my mat leave. Someone commented it's too late, but my aunt and pig says anytime before that will be too early ):

Whatever it is, i think its fair enough! hahahs

Maybe i could meet up with some friends before i am being trapped at home for the rest of the weekss~

i think i only blog when i am working hahahas.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Boring Sunday! & pig is out for his soccer match which he just joined & this is the first time he joining in. Can see he is really excited and anticipating it since its confirmed that he's able to join in. Anyway! Timed off yesterday earlier at work, cos its a Saturday and I couldn't define how much I hate gg to work on a sat. But I still managed to drag myself there in order not to.wreck my own plan in the next few weeks:) & pig came pick me up to head to ps to satisfied my carvingss! My chicken baked rice, forever favourite from swensen. Lol We happened to somehow do some exercise and exploration at some weird places like old school and sinema on our lost way to find the egg tart I want to try so much. We are completely lost but still laughing at our dumbness while trying ways out to the main road lol. We hardly spend a lot of time recently because of his work which demand a lot of time commitment. ( and yes I hate it) but we still trying to squeeze abit here and there as we are both aware that life gonna change in a few weeks.time. I spent about a hour trying to reorganize his cabinet cos internally, its really messy. *roll eyes* Personally, I think I am somemore who get pacify easily, greatly depends on my mood thou. Haha but he's always too dumb to know what to do at the right time. Alright, I think he arrived his pitch relatively late lol & I shall go take a nap on this lazy Sunday!!

Friday, May 18, 2012

I realised i created about 3 blogs & i actually updated them from time to time, depends on my mood at the point of time lol.

Pig is going for his working trip next week, this is probably the first time he going overseas after all the woohaa in our life. & also his first business trip. Even though i truly feels happy for him, i hardly show it to him, cause of his easily-proud character. But on the another side, i am feeling upset! My aunt has been commenting that i am abit too dependent on him after marriage, & i think i have to somehow admit it (maybe just partially lol). But im gonna feels so sad going work and going home after work alone. & cant see him for like 2-3 days.

i made a fuss even though its not up to him to choose but he pissed me off further as he failed to pacify me. Too dumb -.- But afterall, there is almost nothing i can do! So i shall be a good girl till then.

On the better note, my company is going to give me my maternity leave!! I think that somehow rest pig's mind for about 20% cos we are really wondering whether his pay is enough to sustain all of us. Just like him saying, " i will eat tofu and both of you eat rice and drink milk lo" but we soon realised that it may not be enough even though he feed himself tofu everyday lol.

My colleague is busy planning her trip to BKK. & hell, she makes me wanna go so badly too. But obviously i cant. But i will. Maybe soon. *winks*

Okay, im still upset that he's gg overseas without me ):

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

It has been 2 months since we both settled down, & despite all the downs & troubles, i think i have to do him some justice. He has been a good hubby till now. At least i know he tried his best, & i think thats more or less enough.

Sometime i get hare-wired & emotional (which i blamed on hormones), i could say that he's not able to handle me at those times cause even myself i cant too. lol. But everything is good enough. He try to give me whatever he can, all my stubbornness and bad tempered.

Our thinking changes along the way, i am learning the art of forgiving and forgetting in the shortest time ever.

I am glad to see changes in him, being more responsible.
I am trying to enjoy my life, try (:

Friday, April 27, 2012

Didnt even know that blogger started changing their layout till now lol! I have been noticing there are lots n lots of facebook friends is now oversea, maybe traveling working or studying. & ya, i kinda of envy them, afterall IWANTGOTRAVETOO.

Despite the fact that i hate growing up, i think i am forced to do so. Seeing all kind of ugly faces from different people really irk me a lot. I remember asking pig this question, whether human are borne kind or evil, i think he gave me quite a good answer. You only see people turning from good to bad, and rarely from bad to good. But i think somehow, the evil in us are hidden. Not exposed until that very moment, the selfishness, the greediness & everything.

I am not a bad person, i never plot any harm to anybody in my life. But i am not too kind too, i admit i am competitive person that sometime i hate seeing people doing better than me including that very closed one. I hate my life now cause i feel totally prison-ed from things i want to do.

Sometimes, some decisions are hard to made. Especially when it doesnt only affecting yourself, & you have to consider different sides. I am stuck in between. With different side having different reasons, i wouldnt say they are wrong, & me myself i know who is at fault. But... how to make that decision when either way you are going to get blame for. I prayed hard & keep my fingers crossed that my life will remain like it is, with everything done to be in the past, but somehow reality love slapping on my face.

i am just too lazy to check the above post for errors while i writing down whatever comes into my mind which are all in the mess, i expect no one can actually figure out what i am trying to say at all. LOL.

Alright, till then.